Keeping Up Appearences

They say appearances are deceiving, but sometimes the deceit is so obvious it only serves to reinforce the opposite of their aim. Fake tan for example - particularly poignant in my school of white shirts and orange collars. I won’t pretend a bronzed goddess isn’t attractive in the right situation, but a streaky, orange face with a pale neck is about as attractive to me as horse dung. In December you can’t even pretend it’s from sun bathing at the bank holiday – so give it up.

I asked a friend what ‘looking cool’ really meant. She told me it was being in fashion, comfortable and most importantly – not trying too hard. Unfortunately, like most things, any attempt at ‘looking cool’ fails miserably if your audience is against you. Dress in the same clothes as your peers, and that girl who bitches about you, will still bitch.

So if being cool is all in perception, but being comfortable is also part of looking cool, could I manipulate people into just wearing their pyjamas all the time? On second thoughts – there are some who might try too hard to be cool then, or maybe they just sleep naked.

And what about punk and alternative dress? You do have to worry when alternative becomes mainstream. They repackaged rebellion and sold it back to us - in mass produced tartan, complete with safety pins and ‘real life’ distressed look.

In a desperate attempt to make us feel a little better about ourselves, they made it all mainstream. From geek chic to chav chic – never before were we all so damn fashionable.

Then why do we all still doubt ourselves and judge each other?