As much as I dislike grudgingly accepting as my ‘friend’ people from years ago who type all their sentences in capitals, I also do like making the occasional find. I mean people who I went to school with who are now big gays like me. I’ve found lots already. Some, who are obviously less subtle about their persuasion, messaged me on Gaydargirls. Others send me a message asking if I remember them, and a quick glance at their profile confirms my long held suspicions, and the same is obvious for them.
When glancing through the majority of profiles, I don’t really look out for much. But with certain people I’ll look out for a few things. Most obviously ‘In a relationship with…’, or ‘interested in…’. However an interest in, for example, woman’s rugby is usually a telling factor. Their friends, their photos (and where they’ve been taken) and whatever other information on their profile is part of my fact finding mission.
It’s led me to wonder a few things. Of all the people who I’ve since made contact with on these sites, not one of them has surprised me by coming out. We were all slightly ‘odd’ at school. We hung out with the alternative crowds, were either excessively nerdy, or excessively bad. We also all knew each other in some way, even from just nods in the corridor. I’m not saying I was terribly popular at school, but I knew lots of people from different years.
I obviously, although not intentionally, picked people up on gaydar years before any of us even really knew.