Closet Case

Ruth Kelly has always courted a certain amount of publicity. She’s Tony Blair’s right hand woman, she’s a member of Opus Dei (extreme Catholics, as seen in the ‘Da Vinci Code’) and, she does look like a bit of a dyke.

I know she has kids, and a husband, and is a religious type. But really, she just looks like a stereotypical gay, short hair, dowdy trouser suits and even a low voice. The woman could be confused, and not in a gay teenage way.

Appearences are rather deceiving. Despite being Communities Secretary and Minister for Equality, she has yet to vote in favour of gay rights. Seems a bit silly to be a bigoted Minister for Equality. Bit silly to go to war because George Bush does too.

Her latest proposals are to end our hallowed gay bars. It’s not equal if we refuse to let straight people in. Maybe if Ms. Kelly went to a gay bar she’d see that it’s not that we don’t let them in. We do. I have a straight male friend who pulls females more often in a gay bar than in a straight bar. University societies have bar crawls which end in, and include gay bars and clubs. Not discounting the masses of fag hags who often outnumber the lesbians in any given bar.

We like straights who like us. If they want to dance and get merry while paying extortionate prices for Smirnoff Ice, they are welcome.

Please Ruth Kelly, come out (to a gay bar).