Being Out...

Is over-rated. It hasn’t changed the quality of my life greatly. It hasn’t changed my friends. It hasn’t changed anyone’s attitudes to me, or has it made me a better gay.

Especially when you are a teen, coming out seems to be the Holy Grail, something to aspire to and prepare for. I know it was something I really wanted – the opportunity to be honest and not have to lie. Having come out, I’m still not telling the whole truth to my mother. Nor do I think it would be a terribly good idea.

Many gay people, and in particular gay young people, are put under much pressure to come out. My advice is, put simply, ‘Don’t’. It’s not something to rush in to, it’s not probably not going to make things easier or better, and it’s not necessarily going to change anything.

No fireworks, no cheers, no orchestral accompaniment or birds singing everywhere I go. A beam of sunshine doesn’t follow me. People’s heads don’t spin round as a flounce past with an obvious spring in my step.

Life is pretty average really – in or out. Same difference overall.