Little Bootees and Baby Photos
I have been witness to baby photos this week. The baby was pink and round and looked, to my untrained eye, much like every other baby. I did my very best to coo and aww at the glossy photos of the mini ball of life, apologising for my somewhat amateurish acting with ‘I’m sorry – I’m really not a baby person’.
My company spoke to me in the same tones as they were addressing the pictured infant. ‘Aww it’s alright, you’ll want a baby some day’. I don’t. I mean, I really don’t.
It’s strange to be patronised for knowing what you want, just because it’s something you’ll ‘grow into’. I have never expressed any maternal instinct, preferring to leave nappies, boke and lukewarm baby food to those with this strange personality trait.
Have I convinced myself I do not want a child because I know that as a lesbian I can not have a baby (at least without some third party)? Have I suppressed a broody instinct in favour of apathy? Or do I just not want a child? Besides, why is that so wrong?
My mother is horrified at my lack of interest. I think it’s pretty well thought through. Children = expense. Expense may mean I can’t indulge in holidays or expensive tastes. Some call me selfish, but I reckon it’s just common sense. If I have no real passion for motherhood, why should I develop one at my own personal cost?
Call me untraditional to not be fascinated by little bootees in Mother Care. Call me a dyke for refusing at accept a maternal instinct.
Just don’t ask me to babysit.
Posted by straighttalker05 @ 10:27 PM::
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4 Comments:
I feel much the same way. I never wanted to play with dolls, I never wanted kids of my own, my Gran used to be horrified and insist I'd want them when I was 'a little bit older'.
I had one completely by accident, by being careless, I thought my life was over, I got very depressed while pregnant and saw it as a parasite.
There was no 'rush of love', no joy, just the feeling of having been thrown into prison.
I'm not in the least bit maternal, I'm just not the type.
I do love him, I do, I just wish i'd been more careful. Then I might still have a life.
Cheery cheery.
Babies also=smell,noise,lack of sleep.Im in 2minds about kids.I keep worrying that im getting too old and my choice will be taken away.On one hand its jst too much responsibility.On the other,there is nothing like the feeling of being needed and loved unconditionally by a young child. The jury is still out for me..
"On the other,there is nothing like the feeling of being needed and loved unconditionally by a young child."
Yeah, I guess it does mean there is a point to my existence... :D
I'm still undecided as to whether or not I want a child/children of my own someday, though I certainly don't want one right now. At 22, I figure I've got a few more years of fertility, and even longer than that to adopt if I really want a kid. My personal feeling on the subject of children is that they are great as long as you can give them back to their parents when they scream or stink. This is why nieces and nephews are fabulous -- you can spoil them and make them love you and then send them back to their parents when they need to be disciplined and/or washed! ;)
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