Stranger Still
Strangers I can handle. I like to get into a conversation with a stranger (although not creepy strangers). I love the way I can really tell them anything about myself, my frustrations and my loves without really having to take much care over their reaction. I also like the way I can tell them the most pithy little things, like that my hair goes frizzy in wet weather. They might think I’m weird, but sometimes I really just couldn’t care less about that.
I also like people who know me well enough to work me out. The people that recognise my silences and know what I really mean by them. And the people that realise how very tiring being a 24 hour actress with no pay really is. There are a few people that know me so well they can tell what I’m thinking just by looking at the direction I look in reaction to something. Some of these people are too far from me.
The people that annoy me most are the people who talk to you and seem to very interested in you, but the next time you meet them you realise how entirely switched off they were. I don’t expect people to relive my conversations with them, but I do think remembering my name isn’t much to ask really. There are detached people I can understand that I just flit past their life, but there are others who I feel genuinely hurt that they forget me so carelessly.
So yes, a counsellor I used to be sent to was one of the above people. School reckoned I was being guarded and that’s why I was gaining nothing from her. The real reason was because every week she called me the wrong name, and every week she couldn’t remember what we’d talked about the week before. The fourth time going through my life story, I told her it wasn’t working. We went our separate ways soon after.
Of course the other reason for me dumping my counsellor was her general uselessness. Forgetting my name was one thing, but relating every single problem in my life to me being gay may have helped her fill in an evaluation sheet, but even I knew that was certainly not the case.
Perhaps the counsellor did me some good – so I totally lost faith in the support network in my school. But sorting myself out myself certainly made more sense in the long term.
---------------------------------------------
4 Comments:
It's inexcusable for a counsellor to be so forgetful of basic details. Inexcusable. Not only is it frustrating for you at a time when you are seeking help, but it also colours your view of counsellors and makes you less likely to seek help from one (should you need to) in the future. But like any profession, there are good ones and there are bad ones. Shame you weren't able to gel with yours - it can be a truly beneficial relationship when you are able to connect with them.
"a counsellor I used to be sent to..."
I take it the school decided you should see one, rather than yourself? My school did that too. And she was equally useless. To be fair though, she was being sent the students who for whatever reason didn't fit the mould, rather than the students who might have actually benefitted from her help. (Mine was a very conservative, just so school.)
Frankly I wouldn't trust a counsellor as far as I could throw them, but that's just me. I'm told there are good ones out there...
What a mindless counselour! She definitely doesn't not represent the profession as a whole. I hope you won't lose faith in the power of what a counselor or therapist can do, even if it's the simple act of listen. Personally, I've met a few counselors in my time and none being mindless as the one you just described.
Though, being as mindless as she was, I'm glad that (at least) something good did come out of it. I hope you'll have better luck next time.
What a mindless counselor! I gotta say she really does not represent the profession as a whole.
I had more to say in my post, before this but somehow that got erased and now i don't remember what it was anymore. But basically, it was that that counselour was not doing her job properly. Even if her excuse was that there were so many other students she was seeing.
Post a Comment
<< Home