Leading in a Cheer

I like to think of myself as decisive. When at the start of the year I expressed my total opposition to a cheerleading competition in school, I said I would take nothing to do with the preparation of the competition. Aside from finding the whole idea of girls prancing around in skirts, shouting and wiggling their large hips for no apparent reason, I found the whole idea quite degrading. Of course, there is also the small matter that they retired the ever-faithful literary competition in favour of this sham.

So yes – I remember saying ‘Have the competition for all I care. I won’t take anything to do with it, but I will support you, just in a grumbling way’.

I’m currently downloading cheerleading mixes from the internet and wondering how exactly I’m going to demonstrate the dance moves to the younger girls without losing all (any) credibility I possess. I’m also using my literary talents which helped me win the literary competition (RIP) every year to write a ridiculous rhyming chant for them to scream at me. I also found myself googling ‘basic cheerleading’.

(Before you all think I’m actually interested in this, I am second in command and since my ‘Captain’ is suffering from some minor ailment, I am being left to organise 20 15 year olds to dance in a smutty, degrading, pointless and generally vaguely disturbing way.)

Perhaps I’m too nice to be decisive.

Now, I just need to make the green pom-poms. All suggestions welcome.