Hasbian Phobia

For an open-minded community, the homosexual community can really be quite phobic. Bi-phobia is, in my experience, accepted. Some gay people openly declare that they’d never date a bisexual person and others claim bisexuals don’t take sexuality ‘seriously’ enough.

But by using such labels and prejudices, are we not just making it more difficult for ourselves. When a gay person decides that they want to be with someone of the opposite sex, they all of a sudden become a ‘hasbian’. They risk losing face in the community and losing their circle of friends. I know – because I’ve experienced.

Of course it largely depends on the group of friends you have. Some of my friends don’t care who I date, whereas another friend just stopped inviting me to social gatherings, claiming I’d ‘turned’.

I find it strange that the community that pleads acceptance can be just as prejudiced. Of course I feel here that I should say that is not true of everyone.

Even, as a former ‘hasbian’ myself, I find myself being swept among these prejudices. Despite reading oodles of Jeanette Winterson books, and having, in my opinion, a very open mind about sexuality and labels, I was still very surprised to hear of a popular lad who has recently started dating a camp fellow. The popular lad sings in a band and has a list of attractive female ex girlfriends from here to Figi. Is that why I was surprised to hear he is dating a guy?

Or am I just jealous because I find such fluid ideals challenging?