Everyone is one this season.....

Like buses, bisexuals seem to come along all of a sudden, blocking all the traffic, and leaving you cursing their lateness. It seems no sooner is one person bravely sticking their limbs from the closet, and they’re all at it. Not that I’m complaining of course, being the only gay in the village wasn’t much fun anyway.

The girls who were the homophobes of yesterday, are the bisexuals of today. And in saying bi, by god are they bi. Even I am getting bored of their constant flag waving, and I consider myself to be a flag-waving fan.

And yet… (like me being straight) … it seems all to be a show. I reckon if I was to burn my boats and flirt with one of these girls, they’d come over all coy. If I was to come stampeding from my closet, waving my rainbow flag and proclaiming my girl loving, they’d suddenly be going back to yesterday. Yes, the sad truth is, bisexuality is often a choice, like costume jewellery, it’s fashionable.

I’m not condemning bisexuals in the slightest, they are after all our brothers and sisters. I do however; condemn the show offs for whom sexuality seems little more than a new pair of shoes (which will be tossed to the pile for next season).

So where has this surge come from? Suddenly straight bars are full of women kissing – no – it isn’t a magnificent step towards integrating into their culture, an end to gay bashing and homophobia, for every female couple kissing, there’s a straight man ogling over them.


Not to demonize these girls, who I’m sure, are only on for a night out, and perhaps a date at the end of it, but what about me? What confusing signals! A girl flirts with me, and the next thing she’s dropped me like a pair of smelly socks, for a man (who I’m sure isn’t half as interesting as me anyway).

So beware girls, don’t come crashing from your closets yet. Look over her shoulder and the boy there, and wonder if she’ll even remember it in the morning.