It’s great to have a choice – but what exactly does your choice say about you?I’ve been filling in a great many forms in preparation for my departure for University. As you might expect, one of the first questions asked on the majority of forms is my name. I usually fill in my full name, including my embarrassing middle name. I’m a stickler for tradition like that. But, before I even get to enter my name, I am asked my title.
Now, men don’t often get much choice, it’s ‘Mr.’ all the way. But women have a great choice when it comes to titles. Each form requests either ‘Miss’, ‘Mrs.’, ‘Ms.’, and one even asked me if I was a ‘Lady’ (although, Baroness was not on this particular list).
I’m not married, so that rules out ‘Mrs.’, but what if I was in a Civil Partnership. I have seen no guidance on this, are you a ‘Mrs’ is you are Civil Partnershipped? Perhaps someone can advise?
I think ‘Miss’ makes me sound a bit like an old spinster, so I tend to choose ‘Ms.’ Does this suggest I’m a bra-free feminist? Am I suggesting I’m divorced/independent/man hater/lonely? I am aware that the term ‘Ms’ is quite handy when officially addressing someone whose marital status you don’t know, but I know my own marital status. Which term then, am I expected to use?
Also – if I chose ‘Lady’, would the Queen write to me and complain?
Phew! I thought this one was going to be a *name and shame* post!
ReplyDelete*Starts to breathe again*
I would go with MS as a statement. There is only one option for a grown male so there ought to be only one for a grown female. . . but good point on the civil partnership malarky - I hadn't thought that one through yet!
I have had to fill out forms for a Lady once or twice. Her husband was a Lord.
I asked her "How long have you been a Lady?" Her reply was a rather caustic "I have been a lady ALL my life."
Oh.
I always use Ms. these days because it's just no one's business what my marital status is. Besides, I like the sound of it. Mizzzz. (Even if it reminds me of a crappy teen magazine.) I am a feminist, anyway, so I'm happy to come across as one. :)
ReplyDelete(And hiya! I've been reading via RSS for a while now; it's very cool to come across an Ireland-dwelling gay writer. I'm from the Republic myself, living in the west.)
I often have the same quandry. various offical people know me as Miss and others as Ms depending on the mood I was in when I filled out the said forms. I'm always surprised by which title i'm addressed as. Maybe it's my age but i'm leaning more towards Ms these days!
ReplyDeleteI always put, and think of myself as, Miss. I know it's not a great political statement, but I really quite like my single status! And if I get partnered, I'll become Ms and people can wonder. :)
ReplyDeleteI'd choose Ms., just because I have a problem with the title "Miss". I think it's my whole I-have-too-much-to-prove thing.
ReplyDelete"Miss" to me kinda screams, "I've never been married," "I'm a starving college student living by myself in a studio with no cable," or, "I'll have a chocolate milk with a purple straw to go with my Mac 'N Cheese."
"Ms." has mystery. "Has she been married?," "Is she a teacher of sorts?," "Does she command respect?"
Bet your ass she does.
I think 'Ms' is the best term around for a woman who is unmarried. It has no bra-burning connotations for me - it just means that you don't like to give an indication of your marital status, a good thing if you believe in a non-sexist world not that such a place exists of course.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, I know that I owe you an interview. It will come one of these days.
Good luck with your choice of uni.